Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
