For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
