Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How does one acquire holy water?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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