And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
