i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
