I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
