i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
