whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
