There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
