we have officially lost it.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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