I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
