brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
