How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
