Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
