Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
