The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
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