i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
