My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
