god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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