I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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