He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
