it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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