so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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