Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize