So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
