Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
