I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
