I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
