Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
