just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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