On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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