yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They have beer where we have blood.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
