Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
