do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
