i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
