I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
