Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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