I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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