Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
