Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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