thus making me awesome and them whores
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
