I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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