so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
