Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
