I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Randomize
