I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This baby is an asshole
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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