Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
