im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
