Betty ford says i'm here all night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
