I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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