No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
